In reflection, I couldn't chalk my outburst up to my dreading more shoveling, that chore falls to my husband. Although the untouched depths are approaching eighteen inches (sorry, I have not yet adopted centimetres) and the snowbanks are over my head, it was not the accumulation that had me down.
I couldn't even rationalize away the tears because I would be delayed in getting out to get the carload of groceries we needed. Nope, my neighbourhood store is open twenty-four hours if I were so inclined.
After the tears dried, after the red eyes cleared I acknowledged that I was craving spring. This year, more than any other, I NEED spring. My disappointment this morning was all linked to my anticipation of the freshness, the renewal, the hope that comes as the snow melts away.
I am unable to pinpoint the exact moment when I equated spring with hope and new life, but I do. That hope seemed so far out of my grasp this morning as the flakes fell silently, blanketing the earth. After my reflection, my mint tea and hugs from my family I was humbly reminded that I am in no position to question. There is a season for everything and the miracle of spring cannot be rushed.
Hang in there... some winters are more challenging than others, for a variety of reasons. (I know one year I could have sworn I had seasonal effective disorder....) Also, in a winter (year) when so many people you know are battling so life-altering battles/diseases/circumstances, it would naturally be re-affirming to see that yes, this too shall pass, and we will all still be here and continuing to thrive and flourish with the longer days and warm spring rain. I don't know if it will help, but keep in mind that this snow when it melts will help nourish our new plants and re-new the earth...
ReplyDeleteI always appreciate your support my friend. You 'get' me and I 'get' you. I know that this will pass and spring will come. Unfortunately, I don't think spring will bring all I'm wishing for this year, but I'm still hoping and praying....
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